Top Ten reasons why Top Gear should hire Chris Greta as a new host.
Top Gear is a great piece of TV. Anyone who loves cars and has a sense of humor has to love the show and since they had a bit of a dust up with the long time hosts, they’ve decided to bring on another crew. Nobody could ever really replace Jeremy, Richard and James, but I’ll be happy to help keep the show great.
So, here are the Top Ten Reasons Top Gear Should Hire Chris Greta.
1. I love cars. Not just one kind of cars, but nearly every kind of car. They’re a great reflection of the culture that produced them and bought them. It’s the most powerful piece of technology many of us will ever possess.
2. I love bizarre road trips. I’ve driven cross country maybe a dozen times in a huge variety of vehicles, most without air conditioning.
3. I’ve driven all over the world, on both sides of the road, on race tracks, through empty deserts and over tropical islands. We’re going to take tuk-tuk’s up the side of a mountain, catch a goat and take it to the beach while dressed in purple tuxedos? I’m in.
4. I’ve never crashed a car. Ever. Period. So if they give me a million dollar Bugatti to pick up beer and pizza I won’t crash it.
5. I’m funny. Really.
6. If I could have ANY job in the world, I’d pick this job. Period. President? Nah… Brain Surgeon? Ick. TV Guy doing stupid things in cool cars? Absolutely. Sign me up.
7. I’m American. Think of the clever Yank/Brit banter we can have. I’ll even let them make fun of my accent.
8. I can drink warm beer and eat greasy sausage and beans for breakfast if I have to. So living in the UK won’t be a thing.
9. My passport is up to date and I can pack quickly.
10. I’ve owned dozens of cars and motorcycles. I can usually figure out how to make them keep running. And to top it off, I own a Citroen DS. It’s probably one of the most eccentric automobiles ever built by anyone. It’s so quirky and bizarre and unique that very few people, in this country anyway, even know what the hell it is. I know every quirky detail and fact and figure about that car. In fact, I’ve got a whole head full of quirky facts and figures about hundreds of cars, all locked away in my brain, taking up what would otherwise be useful space for remembering phone numbers and thinking ahead to make reservations and keeping shoes paired up in one place.
Add it all up and it’s an easy choice. Top Gear should hire me. I can start next week and I’ll bring my own cool hat collection so nobody needs to shop for me. I’m easy to get along with and I promise not to hit any Producers no matter how cranky I get.
If you’re from Top Gear, email me right away. If you’re NOT from Top Gear, contact them here and tell them I’m the guy.
Please share this everywhere. Let’s turn this into a worldwide harmonious chant to Get Greta On Top Gear And Everything Will Be OK.